


Overzealous Oddities

by Nightingale5



Category: Les Misérables (2012), Les Misérables - All Media Types, Les Misérables - Victor Hugo
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Boys In Love, Complete, Drunk Texting, Enjolras Is Bad At Feelings, Funny, Humor, Idiots in Love, Jealous Combeferre, Jealous Enjolras, Jealousy, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Modern Era, Mutual Pining, Pining, Texting, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-08-27
Updated: 2017-05-01
Packaged: 2018-08-11 09:25:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 5
Words: 6,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7885615
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nightingale5/pseuds/Nightingale5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Courfeyrac: Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it?</p><p>Enjolras: No.</p><p>Courfeyrac: Let me rephrase</p><p>Courfeyrac: I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Monday, 10th February, 15:23**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

**Courfeyrac:** Remember when I smashed our tv and we laughed about it?

**Enjolras:** No.

**Courfeyrac:** Let me rephrase 

**Courfeyrac:** I've smashed our tv, lets laugh about it.

**Enjolras:** What the fucking hell is wrong with you? 

 

**Tuesday, 11th February, 16:23**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Courfeyrac:** Why didn't you take me out to the milkshakes place with you?

**Enjolras:** BECAUSE YOU'RE ANNOYING

**Courfeyrac:** AND WHEN HAVE I EVER BEEN ANNOYING?

**Enjolras:** I'm not even going to dignify that with a responce.

**Courfeyrac:** WELL JOKES ON YOU ASSHOLE, BECAUSE YOU JUST DIGNIFIED MY PREVIOUS STATEMENT WITH A RESPONSE, SO YEAH. 

 

  **Tuesday, 11th February, 22:03**

**TO: Grantaire**

 

**Enjolras:** Hi

**Grantaire:** apoolo hii whatz upzk 

**Enjolras:** Are you drunk?

**Grantaire:** naaaaaaah

**Enjolras:** Are you sure?

**Grantaire:** yoi cudnt ser it, buyx I shrugfrd

**Enjolras:** R, is anyone with you?

**Grantaire:** wazittiu

**Enjolras:** R, where are you?

**Grantaire:** eponinnnes place and all tha jaz. shea out in ah daor with montpnglazfnazde

**Enjolras:** Okay. Stay there.

**Grantaire:** yoir hairc is relaly nice ita loek liquidated gold itcworta glowss in thst wakt

**Enjolras:** Thanks. I would just like to voice my curiosity: how can you spell a word like liquidated when you can't spell Éponine's name properly?

**Grantaire:** yoi have teally noce eus anx youf voixe id really captivatinf.

 

**Wednesday, 13th February, 08:15**

**TO: Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher**

 

**Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher:** OMFG ENJOLRAS EX-FUCKING-SPLAIN WHY THE FUCKING HELL GRANTAIRE IS ON OUR FUCKING COUCH OMFG DID YOU FINALLY FESS UP?

**Enjolras:** Nothing happened

**Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher:** SO YOU DIDN'T TELL HIM?

**Enjolras:** No. 

**Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher:** You ASSHOLE. I was SECONDS away from EVERYONE being in couples and you RUINED IT. WELL SCREW YOU TOO ASSMONKEYFACE

**Enjolras:** YOU were the asshole who smashed the tv. Now I can't watch Dr Who.

**Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher:** I'm sorry, but it was also Cosette and Marius' fault.

**Enjolras:** Wait, what?

**Enjolras:** Please tell me you didn't.

**Evil Barbarian Tv Smasher:** I did.

**Enjolras:** You're the real ass-monkey-face.

 

**Wednesday, 13th, 10:52**

**TO: R**

 

**Éponine:** Can you pick Gavroche up from his school? xxx

**R:** I have a feeling it isn't an option.

**Éponine:** Unless you want to die a slow, painful death, go ahead and don't pick Gavroche up.

**Éponine:** xxx

**R:** Fine, I'd rather not die by cause of Éponine. Why was he sent home so early?

**Éponine:** Well. I've pretty much raised him.

**R:** Shit, that bad?

**Éponine:** Ha. Ha. You are funny.

**R:** I try.

**Éponine:** Some twat tried something with Alzema, so Gav called him a twat. Said twat said that sticks and stones may break his bones but words will never hurt me. Gav got a dictionary then threw at at their face and said that words hurt him now, and called him a bitch.

**R:** Fuck, he is really your brother. I'll be there in ten

**Éponine:** bye bitch

**R:** Bye 

 

**Thursday, 14th February, 14:39**

**TO: Grantaire**

 

**Grantaire:** Shit, I just saw those messages. I'm sorry for all that crap, thanks for going to pick me up, or Éponine would've slaughtered me for raiding too much of her beer. Sorry again for wasting your time.

**Enjolras:** Don't worry, it was fine. It gave Courf a mild heart attack.

**Grantaire:** Oh. Okay. Thanks;-)

**Enjolras:** Any time :)

 

**Thursday, 14th February, 15:01**

**TO: Courf**

 

**Courf:** EnJolras I'M going APESHIT.

**Enjolras:** Wait. what happened.

**Courf:** MONSTER DID. FIZZY ENERGY YOU CAN DRINK.

**Enjolras:** Oh shit.

**Courf:** MISSION TARGET: CONQUER MOUNT FRIDGE.

**Enjolras:** MISSION ABORT

**Courf:** NEGATIVE. DEPLOYING COURF SPRING SKILLS

 

**Thursday, 14th February, 15:07**

**TO: Les Amis Group-chat**

 

**Enjolras:** Who thought of the bright idea to give Courfeyrac a energy drink?

**Bahorel:** Éponine did

**Éponine:** Bahorel, you little shit.

**Enjolras:** Great. Now not only do we not have a tv, but we don't have a fridge either. 

**Combeferre:** Enjolras. Would you kindly explain why I'm coming home to a Tv-less and fridge-less apartment?

**Enjolras:** Oh crap. Hi 'Ferre.

**Combeferre:** Hello, Enjolras. Please explain that when I go on holiday for a week, two important items from our apartment get destroyed?

**Enjolras:** It was Courf's fault.

**Courfeyrac:** Screw you too.

**Combeferre:** Enjolras, we talked about this. When I am away, I can't look after Courf, so you need to make sure he doesn't swallow anything poisonous or anything else like that. You also needed to protect the apartment.

**Joly:** I dropped my phone down the sink, so I'm using Joly's. It's Bossuet, by the way

**Grantaire:** THIS is why you can't have nice things.

**Joly:** Shut up, r. It was meant to be WATERPROOF.

**Combeferre:** Marius or Cosette, are you there?

**Cosette:** Hey, Ferre! How's the holiday?

**Combeferre:** Brilliant. Can you also supervise Courfeyrac as well as Marius? I don't want him exploading the toilet.

**Courfeyrac:** Good idea!

**Cosette:** Sure. I'll pick you up in half an hour xxx

**Enjolras:** Also, Ferre, I'll send you my essay on Robespierre.

**Combeferre:** Brilliant.

**Courfeyrac:** And I'll send you our toilet seat :)

**Éponine:** STOP EXPLOADING MYDUCKING PHONE. And hi, Combeferre.

**Combeferre:** Hey Éponine. And Courf, you had better be joking.

**Courfeyrac:** See how you wound me with your distrust?

 

**Friday, 15th February, 20:17**

**TO: Courf**

 

**Courf:** Me, Ép, Cos, Chetta and R are making jewelry

**Enjolras:** I'm sorry that you and R got roped into making jewelry with the girls.

**Courf:** Roped into? It was my idea. They were just going to sit around and play drinking games

**Enjolras:** Then why are you messaging me?

**Courf:** You didn't invite me to the milkshakes place. Bet you regret it now, all lonely and shit, when you could be making lovely JEWELRY.

**Enjolras:** My heart burns with the knowlage that I am stuck up in my lonesome apartment, when I could be having fun with all of you guys, doing the ever-so-interesting art of creating jewelry.

**Courf:** shit, now I feel bad. R said he'd make you a necklace.

**Enjolras:** He did? 

**Courf:** Yeah.

**Enjolras:** :))))))))))

**Courf:** Wait...

**Courf:** Was that speech on wishing to join us sarcasm?

**Enjolras:** Noooooooo

**Courf:** Oh, okay.

**Enjolras:** Oh my GOD.

**Courf:** Wait...

 

**Saturday, 16th February, 10:50**

**TO: Combeferre**

 

**Enjolras:** Hey, Combeferre. Do you think I should invite Grantaire over? To watch a movie, as in? 

**Combeferre:** Of course you should. But I would like to know what you are going to watch the movie on, baring in mind that the tv is broken and using a laptop may require you to be in very close proximity to R.

**Enjolras:** Oh. I didn't think about that. I am not emotionally stable enough to be in close proximity to him. Because he might sense I like him.

**Enjolras:** And since be doesn't like in that way me back, I do believe it would ruin our friendship.

**Combeferre:** For starters, only Jehan can sense crushes. Also, he does like you back. 

**Combeferre:** So. How's Gavroche?

**Enjolras:** Gav is fine, why do you ask about him.

**Combeferre:** No reason. How's Alzema?

**Enjolras:** She's fine, too? Éponine's fine as well. According to R, she's been working more and went on a date with Montparnasse.

**Combeferre:** Oh. Okay.

**Combeferre:** Great.

**Combeferre:** Cool.

**Enjolras:** I don't like Montparnasse, much. Apparently he and R were a thing?

**Combeferre:** He's so annoying. 

**Enjolras:** I know, right?

**Combeferre:** He always wears that ratty jacket thing made of DEAD COWS.

**Enjolras:** Doesn't he? He always smells like he had 1000 cigarettes, and is SO ANNOYING

**Combeferre:** He has a stupid motorbike.

**Enjolras:** It is a stupid motorbike.

**Combeferre:** It's sooo loud and pretentious.

**Enjolras:** Like his personality and name?

**Combeferre:** Right? Who names their child Montparnasse?

**Enjolras:** Right?! Anyway, got to check up with Cosette. See if Courf is okay.

 

**Saturday, 15th February, 13:12**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

**Courfeyrac:** While I'm out SLAVING away at trying to connect the tv I bought, you're LAZING about in your room. 

**Enjolras:** Okay.

**Courfeyrac:** Hold up a sec. Have you got crisps?

**Enjolras:** No.

**Courfeyrac:** I thought I heard a bag rustling.

**Enjolras:** You are sorely mistaken.

**Courfeyrac:** I'll go over and check

**Enjolras:** FFS, Courf. Alright I HAVE got crisps, but they're all MINE

**Courfeyrac:** Yeah.

**Courfeyrac:** I'll just go over and watch you eat them

**Courfeyrac:** Did you just lock the door on me?

**Courfeyrac:** Rude. You're lucky I'm Courf the unstoppable.

 

**Saturday, 15th February, 15:32**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

**Courfeyrac:** WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FUCKING CLEAN FREAK YOU ASSHOLE

**Enjolras:** What actual the fuck?

**Courfeyrac:** WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING SPOTLESS

**Enjolras:** Jesus, Courf. Calm. Down.

**Courfeyrac:** STOP POLISHING THE GLASS

**Enjolras:** How did you manage to run into the window again?

**Courfeyrac:** I COULD OF DIED YOU TWAT-FACED ARSE.

**Enjolras:** You're Courf the unstoppable.

**Courfeyrac:** I AM COURF THE UNSTOPPABLE. ANYONE THAT SAYS OTHERWISE IS FRIGHTENED OF MY COURFEYRAC POWER

**Enjolras:** What the hell is 'Courf power'?

**Courfeyrac:** THAT'S WHAT THE WINDOW THOUGHT. SMASHED THAT BITCH WITH A HAMMER

**Enjolras:** HOLY SHIT

**Courfeyrac:** ALSO WHAT THE WINDOW THOUGHT.

 

**Saturday, 15th February, 15:46**

**TO: Combeferre**

 

**Enjolras:** Courf smashed a window.

**Combeferre:** You had ONE job.

 

**Saturday, 15th February, 23:59**

**TO:** **Grantaire**

 

**Grantaire:** hes so beaitful wpinine i sont unsearwtand how anyone coisl jaf sucj an attracitve kod

**Grantaire:** je is sooooooolkokoo vwaudtufulo yuo dony underslslaynd

**Grantaire:** Ponine?

**Grantaire:** he got blie eyes akd thyrw ammmamamzing.

**Grantaire:** SHIT FUCK MONKEY

**Grantaire:** gppdniye apppooolllooo

**Enjolras:** You're drunk. Are you with Bossuet and Joly?

******Grantaire:** yeaaaaaaa 

**Enjolras:** Okay. Stick with them.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Courfeyrac: Does our place have fire exits?
> 
> Enjolras: It has doors and windows
> 
> Courfeyrac: HOW would we get out if there was ACTUALLY a FIRE?

**Sunday, 16th February, 09:38**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Does our place have fire exits?

 **Enjolras:** It has doors and windows

 **Courfeyrac:** HOW would we get out if there was ACTUALLY a FIRE?

 **Enjolras:** I'm not sure. Maybe walking to the safest exit?

 **Courfeyrac:** I'll do a test run

 **Enjolras:** DO NOT SET FIRE TO THE APARTMENT

 **Courfeyrac:** FFS, IF THERE'S NO FIRE, HOW WILL I FIND THE EXITS? DUH

 **Enjolras:** SET THE APARTMENT ON FIRE AND I WILL FUCKING SLAUGHTER YOU.

 **Courfeyrac:** WELL SCREW YOU FOR CARING ABOUT YOUR SAFETY

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:04**

**TO: Grantaire :)**

 

 **Enjolras:** hey guess what? I have Enjolras' phone.

 **Grantaire :):** Who is this? Courf or Ép?

 **Enjolras:** How very rude for assuming.

 **Grantaire :):** Give Apollo back his phone, Courf. Why have you even got his phone?

 **Enjolras:** He insulted me. Did you know that Enjolras put a smiley next to your name?

 **Grantaire :):** Sure he did (*cough* bullshit *cough*). Aren't you supposed to be at Cosette's place?

 **Enjolras:** Nope. Installed the new tv, and the fridge's coming tommorow. Just changed all the names to Dave. He might or might not murder me sooooodkvlcosppwlw

 **Enjolras:** Itvksoslvlallslclflwlqpajdkaldpaplslfskkdockskaikzjcj929!((&:&eiwkkckaowockcnsjqkkcgooskforofovksoscoleoqlslc

 **Enjolras:** oclvlwppqlxlslalzl939@('(2))20#9"(,(*91040#)!)2)1)'(

 **Dave:** Fey?

 **Enjolras:** Hello, this is Enjolras. I'm afraid that Courfeyrac is now a dead man. You're invited to his funeral. R, right?

 **Dave:** Who is this (undoubtedly attractive, smart and, lets face it, pretty fucking gorgeous) R you speak of?

 **Enjolras:** Ha. Ha. Ha. You are so funny. I'm changing back your name.

 **'Taire :):** Sarcasm isn't for you, Enji. Besides, is that how you treat one of your elders?

 **Enjolras:** You're a year older than me 

 **'Taire:** ENJOLRAS BARTHOLOMEW WILLAFRID SAMSON. RESPECT YOUR ELDERS.

 **Enjolras:** That isn't even my real name.

 **'Taire :):** YOUR ELDERS

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:31**

**TO: Dave**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sorry. A certain idiot changed all my contact names to 'Dave'. Please could you tell me your name?

 **Dave:** I don't know what your talking about.

 **Enjolras:** Courf, I can see you texting from over here.

 **Dave:** I don't know any 'Courf'. My name is Dave.

 **Enjolras:** You're repairing the window as well. 

 **Courfeyrac:** YOU FUCKING ASSHOLE THAT WAS BOTH YOURS AND THE WIDOWS FAULT

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:32**

**TO: Dave**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sorry. A certain idiot changed all my contact names to 'Dave'. Please could you tell me your name?

 **Dave:** no

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:34**

**TO: Dave**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sorry. A certain idiot changed all my contact names to 'Dave'. Please could you tell me your name?

 **Dave:** Sure, sweetie xxx. It's Jehan. Have you talked to R yet?

 **Enjolras:** No. Have YOU talked to whoever you like?

 **Jehan:** No. Not yet. But I will xxx

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:37**

**TO: Dave**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sorry. A certain idiot changed all my contact names to 'Dave'. Please could you tell me your name?

 **Dave:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 **Dave:** Wow, Courf is one dead man.

 **Enjolras:** Yes, and you're invited to his funeral. 

 **Dave:** Bahorel. Damn, Courfs got guts.

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:39**

**TO: Dave**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sorry. A certain idiot changed all my contact names to 'Dave'. Please could you tell me your name?

 **Dave:** How did he get your phone when he was supposed to be at Cosette's? Combeferre, by the way 

 **Enjolras:** Ferre, he got us a new tv, and is getting a fridge. 

 **Combeferre:** Okay. Can you check on him?

 **Enjolras:** Okay.

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 14:52**

**TO: C** **ourfeyrac**

 

 **Enjolras:** Not setting the house on fire?

 **Courfeyrac:** No, you don't understand Enjolras. A lamp FELL OVER.

 **Enjolras:** Okay?

 **Courfeyrac:** I have to fight it.

 **Enjolras:** NO YOU DON'T.

 **Courfeyrac:** IT'S A MATTER OF HONOUR AND SHIT.

 **Enjolras:** OMFG COURF IT FELL OVER IT DIDN'T INSULT YOUR FAMILY.

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 17:42**

**TO: Bossuet**

 

 

 **GRANDVIEW:** Woman walked past carrying a toddler. Why can't you carry me? 

 **Bossuet:** Lmao. Your name is autocorrect-ed to Grandview. Going to change it now. Also, your too heavy.

 **GRANTAIRE:** Autocorrect didn't lie. Push me in a baby-buggy

 **Bossuet:** YOU'RE TOO HEAVY

 **GRANTAIRE:** STOP BEING A LAZY BASTARD. PUSH ME IN A SHOPPING CART.

 **Bossuet:** NO. 

 **GRANTAIRE:** MAYBE THERE'S A REASON BOSSUET IS AUTOCORRECT-ED TO BITCH. 

 **Bossuet:** I thought it autocorrect-ed to noisier?

 **GRANTAIRE:** Nope.

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 17:54**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Remember when you told me I wasn't allowed to touch the stereo?

 **Enjolras:** Yeah

 **Courfeyrac:** Well, that was a good.  I just totally fucked it up.

 **Enjolras:** I'm not even surprised. You're an ASSHOLE.

 **Courfeyrac:** I'M ADMITTING YOU WERE RIGHT. JEEZE. LEARN TO TAKE A COMPLIMENT.

 **Enjolras:** Why can't you LEAVE. THINGS. ALONE.

 **Courfeyrac:** \\_(-.-)_/

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 20:05**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **Enjolras:** Courfeyrac just broke the stereo

 **Enjolras:** Again.

 **Enjolras:** >:(

 **'Taire :):** Did you just send me the cutest frown-y face ever?

 **Enjolras:** No. It's not cute.

 **'Taire :):** Yes you did! Aw, Apollo, you're so adorable- you are a, and I quote, 'cutie-patootie'

 **Enjolras:** No way. I'm not cute, I'm a GROWN man. Shut up. You're cute.

 **'Taire :):** Oh, Apollo, how I blush! And are you sure you're 'grown'? 

 **Enjolras:** Goot to go, niight

 

**Sunday, 16th February, 20:08**

**TO: PRECIOUS R BABY**

 

 **Courf:** Whatever you said made Enjolras look sunburnt, he was soooo red with... ~blushing~

 **PRECIOUS R BABY:** Naaah. Apollo doesn't blush

 **Courf:** _Img.19399_

**PRECIOUS R BABY:** Not really blushing.

 **Courf:** He really, really is. What did you say to him!?

 **PRECIOUS R BABY:** Called him adorable and a cutie-patootie. Thats cause he is. Adorable, as in.

 **Courf:** ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT ASK HIM OUT!!!!

 **PRECIOUS R BABY:** Nope. HE. DOES. NOT. LIKE. ME.

 **Courf:** HE DOES!

 **PRECIOUS R BABY:** Sureee.

 

  **Monday, 17th February, 09:42**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Do midgets have night vision?

 **Enjolras:** No. Even if they did, how would I know?

 **Courfeyrac:**...

 **Courfeyrac:**................

 **Enjolras:** Fuck you too.

 

**Monday, 17th February, 14:30**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** I GOT CHILLS, THEY'RE MULTIPLYING

 **Courfeyrac:** AND I'M LOSING CONTROL

 **Courfeyrac:** CAUSE THE OBVIOUSNESS, YOU'RE SUPPLYING

 **Courfeyrac:** IT'S ELECTRIFYING (electrifying, electrifying).

 **Courfeyrac:** YOU BETTER WAKE UP

 **Courfeyrac:** CAUSE YOU NEED A MAN

 **Courfeyrac:** AND YOUR HEART IS SET ON GRANTAIRE

 **Enjolras:** You better shut the damn hell up if you want to remain fully intact by the end of the day.

 **Courfeyrac:** Is now the time to tell you I broke a varse?

 **Enjolras:** It's vase.

 **Courfeyrac:** Some people say "vase". Some people say "varse".

 **Enjolras:** It doesn't matter how you pronounce it. Your spelling it wrong.

 **Courfeyrac:** "You're"

 **Enjolras:** Shit.

 **Courfeyrac:** Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

 

 

**Monday, 17th February, 15:00**

**TO: ADORABLE DORKY NERD**

 

 **Courf:** Why are you neglecting me in your best friend duties?

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** I'm not neglecting you.

 **Courf:** I'LL CALL RSPB, COMBEFERRE, I WILL.

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** Jesus, you're an idiot. They protect BIRDS 

 **Courf:** THEN I'LL TELL THEM YOUR A FUCKING OSTRICH OR SOMETHING

 

**Monday, 17th February, 15:27**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** How can one so smart be so oblivious? 

 **Enjolras:** I don't know?

 **Courfeyrac:** It's not even funny

 **Courfeyrac:** It's just sad

 **Courfeyrac:** You sad, sad little fuck

 

**Monday, 17th February, 16:01**

**TO: Everyone excluding OBLIVIOUS ASSHOLE and PRECIOUS R BABY**

 

 **Courf:** We NEEDS to place bets on when they're finally gonna fess up

 **Scariest Woman Ever:** Idec about them anymore.

 **MARIMUNCHKINS:** Do Enjolras and R know about it?

 **Courf:** Nope

 **MARIMUNCHKINS:**...5 euro on Enjolras making the first move at Jehan's party

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** I wholeheartedly disagree with using our friends emotions' as betting points.

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** Five for Enjolras, but fucking ages away.

 **JE-FUCKING-HAN:** Ten for Enjolras, at the party

 **COSETTE!!!!!!:** I think R'll do it. Five for R.

 **Scariest Woman Ever:** Hahahahahahaha. No

 **BaHoReL:** I agree with Éponine

 **FUEL THE GINGER:** I'M TRYING TO WORK ASSHOLES. I DON'T NEED MY PHONE EXPLOADING.

 

**Monday, 17th February, 16:50**

**TO: 'Taire :):**

 

 **Enjolras:** Hey

 **'Taire :):** Hey

 **Enjolras:** Do you want to come over and watch a movie? Courf finally set up the tv, so he went back.

 **'Taire :):** Sure Apollo. I happen to have a vast, vast ammount of chic flics.

 **Enjolras:** Cool :)

 **'Taire :):** Cool :)  See you then.

 **Enjolras:** Bye :)

 

**Monday, 17th February, 16:53**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Enjolras:** HELP ME FUCK I CAN'T DO THIS HES SO FUCKING AMAZING COURF YOU DONT UNDERSTAND JESUS FUCK

 **Courfeyrac:** Hi, Enjolras! I'm fine. My stay at Cosette's is going fine, thanks for asking.

 **Enjolras:** WHAT DO I WEAR?

 **Courfeyrac:** IDK ENJOLRAS I'M FREAKING OUT

 **Enjolras:** SO AM I. R'S COMING OVER AND WATCHING A MOVIE AND I'M FREAKING OUT AHHHHHGG

 **Courfeyrac:** I HAVE AN IDEA

 **Enjolras:** Do you? WHAT IS IT?

 **Courfeyrac:** Right. Have a shower, wear tight jeans and a t-shirt. Watch your goddamn movie.

 **Enjolras:** Not a bad plan

 **Courfeyrac:** Then tell him you want to have his babies and make out with him.

 **Enjolras:** I'm not doing that. Goodbye, Courf.

 **Courfeyrac:** BYYYEEEE USE PROTECTION

 

**Monday, 17th February, 17:02**

**TO: Éponine**

 

 **R:** I can't move. I'm sorry, 'Ponine. I won't be home today

 **Éponine:** Okay why? I thought you were at Enjolras'

 **R:** He fell asleep. Whilst lying on me.

 **Éponine:** Okay. Try get some sleep

 

**Monday, 17th February, 17:04**

**TO: Scariest Woman Ever**

 

 **Scariest Woman Ever:** Enj fell asleep on top of R. Pictures. Now

 **Courf:** ON IT

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 08:00**

**TO: Everyone**

 

 **Courf:** _Img.1030592_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Did you know that Éponine's 'On my own' was supposed to be a duet with her and Grantaire (over Marius and Enjolras).
> 
> You're welcome for making you feel slightly more depressed.
> 
> Search up cat memes. They'll always make you feel better.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wow. I have not updated much, have I?

**Tuesday, 18th February, 03:03**

**TO: ADORABLE DORKY NERD**

 

 **Courf:** You know what I've alwaays wondered?

 **Courf:** How tall people sleep.

 **Courf:** Like, there's no way the blanket can reach your toes from up there.

 **Courf:** Is it cold?

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** No, it's not cold. It's three in the fucking morning.

 **Courf:** oh. Can't sleep, huh?

 **Courf:** Is it because of the blankets?

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 07:24**

**TO: Enjolras**

 

 **Combeferre:** Can you please take Mr Duck from Courf's room and hide it?

 **Enjolras:** The fluffy toy? Sure, but why?

 **Combeferre:** You have known him for many years, Enj. You should know why.

 **Enjolras:** Three in the morning?

 **Combeferre:** Three in the morning.

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 09:45**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** WHERE IS MR DUCK?

 **Enjolras:** Oh, he's around...

 **Enjolras:** Lets make a deal.

 **Courfeyrac:** WHERE IS MR DUCK?

 **Enjolras:** You can have Mr Duck back if you stop waking people up at three in the morning.

 **Courfeyrac:** LET ME SPEAK TO MR DUCK

 **Enjolras:** QUACK

 **Courfeyrac:** ARE YOU OKAY, MR DUCK?

 **Enjolras:** He's fine. FOR NOW.

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 12:21**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** You have bought a new window pane.

 **Enjolras:** Yes

 **Courfeyrac:** Are you going to try to make me put it in?

 **Enjolras:** I WILL make you put it in.

 **Courfeyrac:** DEATH. FIRST.

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 14:43**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **'Taire :):** Why is Courfeyrac at Eps apartment?

 **Enjolras:** How'd he get there?!

 **'Taire :):** I don't know, something about a duck, windows and death being first?

 **Enjolras:** Tell him Mr Duck is at gunpoint

 **'Taire :):** Okay

 **'Taire :):**...

 **'Taire :):** .......

 **Enjolras:** He's now hysterical, isn't he?

 **'Taire :):** Well.

 **'Taire :):** He's barricaded himself into the kitchen. 

 **'Taire:** Oh shit

 **Enjolras:** What happened?

 **'Taire:** He found the beer and the ice cream.

 **Enjolras:** On my way.

 

**Tuesday, 18th February, 15:07**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Enjolras:** I've brought Mr Duck. Come out and un-barricade R's kitchen.

 **Courfeyrac:** Okaaaaaaayyyy.

 

**Wednesday, 19th February, 10:58**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **Enjolras:** I'm boreeeeeeed

**'Taire :): _http://findtheinvisiblecow.com_**

**'Taire :):** You're welcome.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry for being a lazy little shit and not updating for agggeeeesss.  
> 

**Thursday, 20th February, 9:29**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** why did the turkey cross the road?

 **Enjolras:** I don't know and I don't care.

 **Courfeyrac:** He didn't. He's an asshole who stood in front of Cosette's car for ten minutes until she chased it away.

 **Enjolras:** Why did Cosette chase it off? She's the one driving.

 **Courfeyrac:** Marius is afraid of turkeys and I am waay too lazy.

 **Enjolras:** Was there an actual turkey? 

 **Courfeyrac:** _Img.48c24601_

**Enjolras:** Okayy

 

 

****Thursday, 20th February** , 10:01**

**TO: UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT**

**  
**

**UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT:** hey xxx could u pick up some towels? i've destroyed the bathroom again. sorry. xxxxx

 **Courfeyrac, lord and champion of the world:** Sure, babe xxxx love you loooads.

 **UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT:** that was meant for Music hey.

 **UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT:** Music hat

 **UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT:** Muse shit

 **Courfeyrac, lord and champion of the world:** Musichetta. How did you get muse shit out of that?

 **UNLUCKY LITTLE SHIT:** We shall never discuss this again. Just like I promised to not tell Cosette her name autocorrect to Cause Enjol arse.

 **Courfeyrac, lord and champion of the world:** Silence. Never again. Delete all these messages and do not discuss this.

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 11:41**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

**  
**

**The Annoying Shit:** Heyyy R number one pal!

 **R:** What do you want this time?

 **The Annoying Shit:** I think that lord and champion isn't as catchy as lord and saviour. What about you? 

 **R:** Fuck off

 **The Annoying Shit:** Love you too xx

 **R:** Idgaf choose both

 **R:** Theres a reason why your name on my phone is The Annoying Shit.

 **The Annoying Shit:** My name isn't that on your phone, you love me too much xxx

 **R:** _Screenshot.1.cl_

**The Annoying Shit:** YOU ARE NO LONGER MY BABY.

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 13:48**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

**  
**

**The Annoying Shit:** I'm sorry R, you're still my baby, I was just being a little harsh because I love you sooo much xx

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 15:02**

**TO: The Smart One**

**  
**

**The Smart One:** Grantaire. It's not funny any more, it's just increadibly sad.

 **R:** What is? A lot of things that used to be funny in my life are now incredibly sad, so you have to be specific. For example, my life.

 **The Smart One:** Your life isn't sad.

 **The Smart One:** And it's about Enjolras.

 **R:** Ah, angel arse. Continue.

 **The Smart One:** He likes you back. Plain and simple.

 **R:** We apologize, but the user you are trying to reach has just died of laughter.

 **The Smart One:** It's true though.

 **R:** The same way Éponine said you're hot?

 **The Smart One:** whaT

 **The Smart One:** What?

 **The Smart One:** Did she?

 **The Smart One:** She's pretty too.

 **The Smart One:** Shit

 **The Smart One:** Don't tell her I said that.

 **The Smart One:** Grantaire?

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 15:10**

**TO: Les Amis group chat**

 

 **Enjolras:** Does anyone know why Courfeyrac stole my keys?

 **Combeferre:** What? You're lucky I'm returning tomorrow.

 **'Taire :):** Hear that, Éponine? Combeferre The Hot is returning tomorrow.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** Fuck off Taire. Liquidated Gold.

 **'Taire :):** Hush.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** You hush.

 **Bossuet:** The hõle in the bathroom wall is getting bigger, Chetta.

 **Musichetta:** Okay, wait there.

 **Courfeyrac:** Hõle? 

 **Combeferre:** What?

 **'Taire :):** Whãt?

 **Enjolras:** :) Funny

 **Courfeyrac:** ¢_¢

 **Enjolras:** :(

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 19:59**

**TO: Éponine**

 

 **Éponine:** Lets get drunk.

 **R:** Okay.

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 21:52**

**TO: BOSSUET LAZY**

 

 **R:** yoiu get hokme saffe?

 **R:** yh thank35 xx

 **BOSSUET LAZY:** Did you just reply to your own message?

 

 

**Thursday, 20th February, 22:02**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

 

 **R:** ddi yoiu know tha Enjj isc reallllly fit?

 **The Annoying Shit:** No???? 

 **The Annoying Shit:** You know what's a good idea?

 **R:** Whert????

 **The Annoying Shit:** Drunk texting Enjolras.

 **R:** Mcnot drunk but thatss a good idea ty courff ty love you

 **R:** Lovr yooookkku xxxxddxxsx

 **The Annoying Shit:** Muhaha. And now I wait for my cunning plan to unravel.

 **R:** whaãt?

 **The Annoying Shit:** Sorry, autocorrect. Love you too, R.

 

 

**Thursday 20th February 22:08**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **'Taire :):** You're reeaally fit. And beaaaautiful.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 7:05**

**TO: Les Amis group chat**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Like an idiot, Enjolras dropped his phone.

 **Courfeyrac:** Like a fool, Enjolras broke his phone.

 **Jehan:** I was there. It was more like he threw his phone, to be honest.

 **You:** I'm never taking a holiday again. Courfeyrac, tell Enjolras to use the backup one.

 **You:** Actually, could you tell him, Jehan? I don't trust Courfeyrac.

 **Courfeyrac:** WHAT? WHY DOES ENJOLRAS GET A BACKUP PHONE??

 **Grantaire:** Whãt?

 **Bossuet:** Fuck off, R. I made ONE mistake.

 **Grantaire:** Don't you mean, õne mistake?

 **Courfeyrac:** WE ARE IGNORING THE INJUSTICE I AM BEING PUT THROUGH. AND BIAS, YOU ASSHOLE.

 **Courfeyrac:** Sorry, asshole is a little strong.

 **You:** You don't get a new phone, Courfeyrac.

 **Courfeyrac:** Damn you, Ferre.

 **You:** Jehan, remind Enjolras that he can actually put his memory card into the backup one. That way he still has his old phone number.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 9:00**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

 

 **R:** You know, Courfeyrac.

 **R:** Guess what I've just reread.

 **R:** My messages to you last night.

 **R:** Interesting.

 **R:** Very interesting, indeed.

 **R:** Is it true that you, Courfeyrac Bartholomew Rodriguez Toni Smithsonian, coaxed a influenced mind to drunk text the person they've loved for years?

 **R:** Hmm?

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 9:07**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Pack your bags.

 **Enjolras:** What?

 **Courfeyrac:** Pack your bags.

 **Enjolras:** What? Why?

 **Courfeyrac:** I've gotten into trouble.

 **Enjolras:** What??

 **Courfeyrac:** Real bad trouble. We are moving to Mexico and changing our names to Rodriguez and Énjolrãs. Marius is too innocent, Cosette is too precious, Combeferre won't run away with me. 

 **Enjolras:** Please tell me it isn't the Squirrel mafia again.

 **Courfeyrac:** Worse.

 **Courfeyrac:** Sooo much worse.

 **Enjolras:** It can't be THAT bad.

 **Courfeyrac:** Worse than 'that bad,' Enjolras.

 **Enjolras:** Stop overreacting.

 **Courfeyrac:** Éponine.

 **Enjolras:** SHIT.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:32**

**TO: SCARY NO-NO**

 

 **SCARY NO-NO:** You are harbouring a fugitive.

 **Enjolras:** No I'm not.

 **SCARY NO-NO:**  You're with Courfeyrac.

 **Enjolras:** I'm with a friend.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** And who is that friend?

**Enjolras:**

**Enjolras:** Rodriguez.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** We all know that's Courfeyrac's fugitive name for when he's on the run.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** You have half an hour to get Courfeyrac's sorry arse out that apartment.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:36**

**TO: SCARIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD**

 

 **Courfeyrac, Lord, Champion AND Saviour of The Multiverse:** LEAVE ME ALONE YOU CRAZY PSYCHO BITCH. 

 **SCARIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD:** You mortal, your human words do not affect my superior intellect.

 **SCARIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD:** You're dead.

 ** **Courfeyrac, Lord, Champion AND Saviour of The Multiverse:**** BUT WHAT DID I DO???

 **SCARIEST WOMAN IN THE WORLD:** You know what you did.

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:39**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **'Taire :):** Sorry for drunk texting you

 **'Taire :):** Again, sorry

 **'Taire :):** Apollo?

 **'Taire :):** Are you annoyed at me?

 **Enjolras:** Sorry, I was just barricading the front door. Why would I be mad at you? 

 **'Taire :):** Drunk texts?

 **Enjolras:** I'm not mad.

 **Enjolras:** You're really beautiful too.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:42**

**TO: Combeferre**

 

 **Enjolras:** FUUUUUUCK

 **Enjolras:** FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK

 **Enjolras:** I FUCKED UP.

 **Combeferre:** What?

 **Combeferre:** What did you do?

 **Enjolras:** I FUCKED UP

 **Enjolras:** _Screenshot.img38_

**Combeferre:** I am unable to see how you 'fucked up.'

 **Enjolras:** I FUCKED UP.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:43**

**TO: Jehan**

 

 **Enjolras:** JEHA N. HELP ME

 **Enjolras:** I messed up

 **Jehan:** What happened?

 **Jehan:** Are you okay? Do you want me to come over?

 **Enjolras:** I DID THIS

 **Enjolras:** _Screenshot.img38_

**Jehan:** Yes! You made a move! I'm so proud of you! This is good! xxx

 **Jehan:** What did R say back?

 **Enjolras:** NOTHING, AND IT IS NOT GOOD.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:44**

**TO: Unknown**

 

 **Unknown:** ARE YOU FUCKING AROUND OR SOMETHING?

 **Enjolras:** What?? Who is this?

 **Unknown:** DON'T ACT COY, BLONDIE.

 **Enjolras:** Who is this????

 **Unknown:** MONTPARNASSE, BITCH.

 **Montparnasse:** You better explain those messages if you don't want your life to be ruined. Bitch.

 **Enjolras:** What??

 **Montparnasse:** The ones you sent mon cher, Grantaire.

 **Enjolras:** Is he okay??

 **Enjolras:** I meant what I said in the texts.

 **Enjolras:** Don't tell him that

 **Enjolras:** Wait

 **Enjolras:** Mon cher means my dear.

 **Enjolras:** Are you two dating again????

 **Montparnasse:** Bitch. Why the hell would you ask that?

 **Montparnasse:** Unless. 

 **Montparnasse:** Ha. Éponine just told me.

 **Montparnasse:** Break him and I will break your face twice, sending you to the hospital. I will follow you there and break your right arm. Then, using a nearby medical textbook, I will break all the bones in your left arm whilst naming them. After that, I will break your leg using said textbook. Then I will shave off all your hair and dye your eyebrows blue. I will then break your jaw. Do not contact this number again. Goodbye. Bitch.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 13:49**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

 

 **The Annoying Shit:** Do you know where Cause Enjol arse is?

 **R:** What??

 **The Annoying Shit:** FUCK, I MEANT COSETTE.

 **The Annoying Shit:** Do not tell Bossuet of this event.

 **R:** Omfg.

 **The Annoying Shit:** Delete all of these messages and never speak of this again.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 14:42**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** DON'T COME HOME

 **Enjolras:** What have you broken?

 **Enjolras:** Courfeyrac

 **Enjolras:** Courfeyrac

 **Enjolras:** I know you've seen these messages, there's a little tick thing that tells me you have

 **Enjolras:** Courfeyrac

 **Enjolras:** What have you broken?

 **Courfeyrac:** Let me tell you what I haven't broken.

 **Enjolras:** FFS

 **Enjolras:** How did you even get in??

 **Courfeyrac:** Remember when I stole your key and forced you to use the spare one...?

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 14:50**

**TO: Les Amis group chat**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Ever wonder what would happen if Belle didn't save her father?

 **Grantaire:** No, but continue.

 **Courfeyrac:** Tale as old as time

 **Courfeyrac:** Older than that guy

 **Courfeyrac:** Beauty and Mauriceeee.

 **Combeferre:** Okay. I'm returning in six hours.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** Who the hell is Maurice?

 **Marius:** Belle's dad. Nice one, Courfeyrac ;)

 **SCARY NO-NO:** Gaston was fit but a jackass.

 **Jehan:** True.

 **Bahorel:** Gaston also won the no-belle prize.

 **'Taire :):** True, but...

 **'Taire :):** NO

 **'Taire :):** ONE

 **'Taire :):** LIES LIKE GASTON

 **'Taire :):**  NO ONE DIES LIKE GASTON

 **'Taire :):** NOBODY'S AN ABSOLUTE DICK LIKE GASTON.

 **Feuilly:** Go on. Keep on exploding my phone. See what happens when I EXPLODE YOUR APARTMENTS.

 **SCARY NO-NO:** Just try it, ginger. See how far you get.

**Feuilly:**

**SCARY NO-NO:** Exactly.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 15:52**

**TO: Unknown**

 

 **Unknown:** Éponine likes you back. Ask her out.

 **You:** Who is this?

 **Unknown:** You're Combeferre, correct?

 **You:** Yes. Who is this?

 **Unknown:** Who I am is not important. Ask her out, stop being a bitch.

 **You:** How do you know me? How did you get my number?

 **Unknown:** Bitch. What did I just say?

 **You:** Who you are is not important.

 **Unknown:** Exactly. Now fuck off and ask her, unless you want me to find you.

 **Unknown:** And I will find you.

 **You:** Enjolras did tell me somebody threatened him. Montparnasse?

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Damn straight, bitch.

 **You:** How is this any of your business?

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Bitch. If you don't ask her out in the next two days...

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** I will hunt you down.

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Wherever you travel, I will be one step behind.

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Whenever you relax, I will be there to make you tense again.

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Whoever you talk to, I will be there to make sure they never speak to you.

 **ÉPONINE'S EX:** Whatever you eat, you will be afraid to digest, worried it would be poisoned.

**NUMBER HAS BEEN BLOCKED.**

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 16:30**

**TO: Grantaire**

 

 **You:** Does Éponine like me back?

 **Grantaire:** Yep.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 16:38**

**TO: Jehan**

 

 **You:** Does Éponine like me back?

 **Jehan:** Very much so, sweetie.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 16:40**

**TO: The Cornetto Trilogy**

 

 **You:** Does Éponine like me back?

 **Enjolras:** Yes.

 **Courfeyrac:** WAIT WHAT YOU LIKE ÉPONINE?

 **Courfeyrac:** And HOW does ENJOLRAS know about this shit?

 **Enjolras:** Obvious.

 **Courfeyrac:** NO IT'S NOT.

**You:**

**Enjolras:** I discussed the possibility with a close and dear friend.

 **Courfeyrac:** oh my

 **Courfeyrac:** loRd

 **Courfeyrac:** YOU'VE TALKED ABOUT IT WITH R

 **Enjolras:** Fuck off.

 **You:** YOU DID WHAT?

 **Courfeyrac:** Fuck off, Faire, we talk about him and Grantaire all the time.

 **Enjolras:** YOU DO WHAT?

 **Courfeyrac:** Nothing.

 **You:** Nothing.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 16:59**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **'Taire :):** Hey, we need to talk.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ha! You get a (sort of) cliffhanger :D  
> The next chapter is probably the last one.  
> Comment and leave Kudos please, my lovely friends.


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The final chapter.

**Friday, 21st February, 17:01**

**TO: 'Taire :)**

 

 **Enjolras:** Sure, what about?

 **'Taire :):** What's going on?

 **Enjolras:** What do you mean? If you mean currently, Courfeyrac's singing to some plants with Jehan.

 **'Taire :):** We need to talk about our relationship. As in, where it is

 **'Taire :):** Wait, what song?

 **Enjolras:** The Only Exception. Why?

 **'Taire :):** They have white chrysanthemums, don't they?

 **Enjolras:** Yeah, how did you know?

 **'Taire :):** Jehan has different songs for different flowers.

 **Enjolras:** Oh :)

 **'Taire :):** Jehan's too precious.

 **Enjolras:** We still need to talk about where our relationship is.

 **'Taire :):** Yep.

 **Enjolras:** Where do you want it to be? 

 **'Taire :):** Is that a serious question?

 **Enjolras:** Yes?

 **'Taire :):** I think it's obvious where I would like our relationship to be. The question is where ~you~ want the relationship to be.

 **Enjolras:** Really?

 **Enjolras:** I mean, I really like you.

 **Enjolras:** Like, like-like you, but I don't want to ruin our friendship. And I don't want you to feel pressured to do anything. 

 **Enjolras:** So yeah.

 **'Taire :):** Enjolras.

 **'Taire :):** Did you just text

 **'Taire :)** **:** Like-like??

 **Enjolras:** Well, you've just messaged 'like-like' too.

 **'Taire :):** Touché.

 **Enjolras:** Indeed.

 **'Taire :):** Are you asking me out?

 **Enjolras:** Yes, if that's okay with you?

 **'Taire :):** Yes completely fine.

 **'Taire :):** As long as it's fine with you.

 **'Taire :):** Is it?

 **Enjolras:** Of course.

 **Enjolras:** Should I pick you up tomorrow?

 **'Taire :):** Sure, what time?

 **Enjolras:** 7-ish?

 **'Taire :):** Yeah, that's fine with me :)

 **Enjolras:** :)

 

 

 **Friday, 21st February, 17:** **12**

**TO: Combeferre**

 

 **Enjolras:** :)))))))))))))))))))))))))))!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 17:49**

**TO: Precious Flower Boy**

 

 **Éponine:** Did Enjolras just squeal?

 **Precious Flower Boy:** Yes. Loudly. Like a lovestruck thirteen year old girl xxx

 **Éponine:** Grantaire squealed. 

 **Precious Flower Boy:** I bet he did, they've both been waiting for this too long. xx

 **Éponine:** I know. So long it's gotten ridiculous.

 **Precious Flower Boy:** You don't see the irony in that? xx

 **Éponine:** Nope. Do you?

 **Precious Flower Boy:** Yep xx What me to tell you?

 **Éponine:** Sure, why not.

 **Precious Flower Boy:** Combeferre.

 **Éponine:** Montparnasse.

 **Precious Flower Boy:** Impressive xx

 **Éponine:** I try.

 **Precious Flower Boy:** He's back in half an hour. Ask him if he wants coffee tomorrow!

 **Éponine:** Eh.

 **Éponine:** Nah.

 **Éponine:** I have a thing.

 **Precious Flower Boy:** Okay xxx 

  **Precious Flower Boy:** If you ask him, I'm sure he'd say yes.

 **Éponine:** Really?

 **Éponine:** I will consider it.

 

 

**Friday, 22st February, 12:39**

**TO: Everyone excluding OBLIVIOUS ASSHOLE and PRECIOUS R BABY**

 

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** It is a sad day to be a Courfeyrac.

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** We have all lost.

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** Not one of us won.

 **Scariest Woman Ever:** Shush.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 17:49**

**TO: ADORABLE DORKY NERD**

 

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** Is this a praying mantis?

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** _Img.39c4_

**ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** Yes

 **ADORABLE DORKY NERD:** Don't have sex with it. It will eat you afterwards.

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** Good call. It was looking at me all seductive like (π)~(π)

 **Courfeyrac, Lord of Lords, Also Amazeballs:** That's how they get you.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 19:31**

**TO: Courfeyrac**

 

 **Courfeyrac:** Where are you?

 **Courfeyrac:** Where are you?

 **Courfeyrac:** Where are you?

 **Courfeyrac:** Wher are yoi?

 **Courfeyrac:** *where are you?

 **Enjolras:** I am on a date with Grantaire in a restaurant. Fuck off.

 **Courfeyrac:** YOU'RE EATING IN A RESTAURANT??

 **Enjolras:** YES.

 **Courfeyrac:** You're supposed to eat at home so I can watch you and make you feel guilty

 **Enjolras:** Wait, you do that?

 **Enjolras:** Tough. You're not watching me while I eat.

 **Courfeyrac:** PUT YOUR PHONE ON THE TABLE. NOW.

 **Courfeyrac:** _Img.83xs2_

**Courfeyrac:** Now I can make you feel bad.

 **Enjolras:** Did you just send a picture of yourself to me??

**Courfeyrac:**

**Courfeyrac:** Yes.

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 19:32**

**TO: The Annoying Shit**

 

 **R:** Stop harassing Apollo or I'll tell everyone about the autocorrect with Cosette.

 **The Annoying Shit:** HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT?

 **The Annoying Shit:** SHIT

 **The Annoying Shit:** I FORGOT THAT I MADE THAT MISTAKE TWICE.

 **R:** Wait, I thought that was a one-time thing.

 **The Annoying Shit:** SO DID I!

 **The Annoying Shit:** Anyway, I don't need any of you.

 **The Annoying Shit:** I have COMBEFERRE.

 **R:** We both know he's over Éponine's having coffee.

 **The Annoying Shit:** Wow.

 **The Annoying Shit:** Go ahead and RUIN my life.

 **The Annoying Shit:** I hate you.

 **The Annoying Shit:** Hello?

 **The Annoying Shit:** Screw you.

 **The Annoying Shit:** I still love you.

 **The Annoying Shit:** I'm sorry xx

 

 

**Friday, 21st February, 21:32**

**TO: Ép**

 

 **Ép:** How was your date with Apollo?

 **R:** Good. We're going out again on Sunday. How was your date?

 **Ép:** It wasn't a date

 **Ép:** But it was good.

 **Ép:** Very good

 **Ép:** We're going out again tomorrow.

 **R:** Yes.

 **R:** Not a date.

 **Ép:** Fuck off.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> By the way, Dear Theodosia is such a beautiful song. The type that's so sweet it makes you cry fuuck.
> 
> Finish :)


End file.
